peace in knowing you

it's weird knowing that life on this earth can be so fleeting.

i attended a memorial service for one of my college friends today. he was diagnosed with leukemia earlier this year and passed away on the 11th of this month because of complications with pneumonia. he was 24. i didn't know him well, but certain images of him have been stuck in my mind ever since i heard the news, one image especially. during worship services on campus, he would always praise so fervently. glancing over, i always saw him closing his eyes, lifting up his hands, and swaying his body back and forth as if only he and God existed on earth at that moment. i didn't expect myself to cry at the service, but i found myself in tears. it wasn't the grief that struck me, but the suddenness of such an event. and at that moment, i realized how much more i am bound to see this upcoming year.

will i be able to handle it?

of course not.

at least not in the most immediate of senses.

no matter how much i try to prepare myself mentally/emotionally/spiritually for the suffering i will witness, i don't think i'll ever be able to overcome that perpetual question of "why." i could brush it off and suppress this urge to face the matter with a nonchalant and almost cold, "that's life" and "life goes on," but i don't think that's the way to go about it either.

it's simply a matter of being able to answer that question with and fully understand the meanings of one simple and bold truth:

because God is God. because God is good, all the time.

this may seem dogmatic, doctrinaire, and even colder than the response above, but i have to hold on to it. i have to trust in that. because it's the truth. and there's always peace in truth.

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
- Psalm 24:4-5